Last year I was at my wits end. Our kids were both in middle school, and things had...changed. It seemed that my parenting skills were suddenly failing me. At one point I was asking myself what I was doing wrong. Do I need to be more strict? Do I need to be more lenient? Something had to change, and I didn't know what. Then...miraculously...a still small voice said, "Just love them." Ummm. Okay. I can do that.
Still, a few days later, I was sitting in the counselor's office at Sherwood Middle School, asking Vicki Ring, "Is this normal? I've never had a 13 year old boy before, and I just need to know that neither he nor I are going off the deep end!" I told Vicki that I just want my son to feel loved during this time, not just know that he is loved. She recommended "The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers" by Gary Champan. Bingo.
The book doesn't just talk about love, but also about anger, independence, responsibility and failure. Almost right away I had new tools in my parenting tool belt, and some old tools had been sharpened. I had a game plan. It really is different being a parent of a teenager compared to a parent of a child. There is a time of adjustment; a transition, a time where you switch from controlling to influencing. I talked with some of my friends, and found we are not alone. No one has all the answers, but maybe we could learn from each other, and encourage each other.
Still, a few days later, I was sitting in the counselor's office at Sherwood Middle School, asking Vicki Ring, "Is this normal? I've never had a 13 year old boy before, and I just need to know that neither he nor I are going off the deep end!" I told Vicki that I just want my son to feel loved during this time, not just know that he is loved. She recommended "The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers" by Gary Champan. Bingo.
The book doesn't just talk about love, but also about anger, independence, responsibility and failure. Almost right away I had new tools in my parenting tool belt, and some old tools had been sharpened. I had a game plan. It really is different being a parent of a teenager compared to a parent of a child. There is a time of adjustment; a transition, a time where you switch from controlling to influencing. I talked with some of my friends, and found we are not alone. No one has all the answers, but maybe we could learn from each other, and encourage each other.
So this is what I'm doing. I am reserving a room at Symposium Coffee in Sherwood on Thursday mornings from 10-11:30am. We will chat about a chapter in "The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers", and sometimes I'll invite a guest speaker like a local youth pastor or counselor. We will start on September 8th and I will have copies of the book there for $5. We will discuss the first chapter of the book the next week.
I will post a summary of the meeting (sparing the details of the people there) on this blog after our meeting.
Can't wait!
~Kristi :)
I will post a summary of the meeting (sparing the details of the people there) on this blog after our meeting.
Can't wait!
~Kristi :)
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