Remember, the teenager's theme is independence and self-identity. You must ask if your gesture threatens their sense of independence and/or enhance their positive self-identity. Wise parents will study their teen and learn to read their clues as to their mood. good luck. :) One thing you can be sure of is that your teen won't want to be hugged or touched affectionately by parents in public.
When you touch your teen the way you touched them as a child, they can view that as “childish” expressions of love. So, you get to come up with other ways to share your love with them. Like…slap your son on the back, trip him or elbow him, or wrestle him to the ground. Somehow, I think this is father/son bonding examples.
“If we express love to our teenagers only when they are doing things which please us, we have left the high road of unconditional love and have entered the treacherous world of manipulation.” pg. 65. Yikes.
In a few weeks, Marriage & Family Therapist Travis Waits will come and speak at our gathering. He has suggested several topics he could speak on. At our next meeting (tomorrow) we will discuss the topics and choose one. They are:
How to help your marriage survive your teenagers
How to talk to your teen about sex
Boundaries & promoting responsibility with your teenager
All of them sound great!
See you soon!
~kristi
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