Love Language #3: Quality Time

You are saying goodnight to your teen, expecting to return to your evening, when they pull out a zinger. You know, one of those comments. They are just about begging for a discussion about something important to them. You can shrug them off with a vague answer, or invest maybe an hour or two into your relationship. Gary Chapman says, “To give your teenager quality time is to give your teenager a portion of your life.” Unlike most other love languages, this one takes time.

How flexible are you? Are you planning activities around your likes, or have you listened to the heartbeat of your teen to discover what touches them? We discussed the difference between speaking with our teens compared to speaking at our teens. It involves listening and hearing; allowing our teens to speak their heart without our interjection of anything. “We must learn to help her evaluate her ideas, understand her emotions, and take realistic steps toward accomplishing her dreams. And we must learn to do this in a friendly, encouraging atmosphere of dialogue rather than the dogmatic statements of monologue.” Ouch.

On November 10, we will have Travis Waits, a Marriage & Family Therapist will come to speak at our group. He had suggested a number of topics including: how to help your marriage survive your teenagers, how to talk to your teens about sex, and boundaries and promoting responsibility with your teen. We decided to ask Travis to discuss “Boundaries and promoting responsibility with your teen.”

Our next discussion will be about Chapter 6 “Love Languages #4: Acts of Service.”

Can’t wait! J ~k